My New Year's Resolution

Yes, I am fully aware that I'm talking about my New Year's Resolution in the middle of March. But the thing is, I usually don't make New Year's resolutions and, if I do, I don't tend to stick to them for very long. This year, I've come up with one that I'm excited about and one that I think I can actually keep. My resolution for 2019 is to reduce my carbon footprint. My goal is to cut down on waste wherever I can and use more sustainable products.

I came up with this resolution because I hate trash. I hate things that are lying around my house that I don't know what to do with. I hate plastic containers that I know will not get recycled. I hate excess packaging. It seems like we take a bag of garbage out every other day. There is litter all over our local beaches. I find litter in the wooded area of our yard. It's all just too much, and people don't seem to give a damn, so I decided to do my small part to help save our planet.

My first thought was to make my own laundry detergent. I've seen plenty of posts on it and it seems fairly easy (most recipes call for just 3 ingredients). And if I could make my own and keep using the same big jug over and over I could save us money and reduce waste. But then I started looking into it more and found out that homemade laundry detergents don't really work. Trust me, I was crushed. I was already to get my crunchy granola self in gear, save a ton of money, and never have big bulky plastic containers to throw away ever again. But the explanation made sense so I abandoned that idea for other ones.

My next step was reducing the amount of plastic packaging that I buy. Now, when I go to the grocery store, I don't use the plastic produce bags, I try to buy produce that is not wrapped in any sort of plastic or in a container, and I avoid most prepackaged foods if I can. And, of course I bring my own shopping bags (duh).

Ok, now what?

Randomly, I saw a post from a dear friend on Facebook that inadvertently became a thread about Norwex. Nor-what? I had never heard of them yet plenty of people were professing their undying love for the brand. So I did some investigating and fell down a rabbit hole of environmentally-friendly, sustainable products. I started with the Norwex body cloths because my friend said she loved how well they worked and hadn't bought face wash in over a year (!) thanks to these cloths. My expectations were low but as it turns out I was pleasantly surprised and now I don't have to buy face wash anymore!

This is as far as I've gotten with my quest to lessen my carbon footprint but seeing as it's only March and I plan to make this an ongoing part of my life and my family's life (whether they like it or not!) I think I'm doing well so far, especially since my resolutions of year's past never made it past the first week of February or I just never bothered to make them at all.

If you have any suggestions for ways I can further reduce my carbon footprint or be environmentally conscious, drop me a comment!

PS I do not get any kind of compensation for the products I talk about, I just like sharing what I love.

PPS Whenever I talk about New Year's Resolutions I always think of the scene in the movie Mermaids where Winona Ryder's character is talking to her little sister (played by Christina Ricci) and she asks her if she wants to make any New Year's resolutions. Ricci's character asks "What's a resolution?" to which Ryder responds "They're kind of like wishes." No, Winona! No No No! That is not what a resolution is at all! It's always been my pet peeve.

The Mom Genes Style Report

I took a hiatus from my personal shopping but now I'm back! Helloooo, Stitch Fix! I'm sure most of you know all about Stitch Fix but for those of you who aren't familiar I'll give you the run down.

Stitch Fix** is an online personal shopping website that sends you items of clothes and accessories to try on in the comfort of your own home. You keep what you want and return the rest in a pre-paid mailer. When you open an account you fill out a Style Profile that tells the stylists what you like as well as your stats. And when you order a Fix you can leave a little note for your stylist telling them what you would like for that Fix. Each Fix includes 5 items and you can let them know if there are things you don't want. (My Style Profile says that I'm not interested in receiving bags).

I started using Stitch Fix to get maternity clothes (and got the best pair of maternity jeans ever!). I've used Stitch Fix to build my wardrobe when I felt like it was becoming stale and uninspiring. And I've used it to get essentials when I'm going on vacation (and ended up with the cutest little black dress and denim jacket). But I digress...I haven't used Stitch Fix for a while because once I added those new pieces to freshen up my closet I didn't really need to keep adding. Yeah, I could shop till the cows come home but in the interest of saving money I eased off the gas.

Until now. Enter...my new job.

I've worked as a vet tech for the past 10 years which meant my daily clothing choices were the blue scrubs or the blue scrubs with the stain of unknown origin. But now I am entering a career field that allows me to dress in real clothes! Every day! I'm elated! (By the way, I'm betting there are plenty of people out there saying "I would LOVE to wear scrubs to work and not have to worry about picking out an outfit every day. Yes, the grass is always greener blah blah blah. I get it. But right now, I'm psyched!)

Truth be told, my new job has a very casual dress code. I could probably make do with what I already have in my closet especially since I did use Stitch Fix to add some great pieces. Technically, I can wear jeans and a hoodie to work if I wanted to but that's not my style. I like to look put together. And since I have zero time to shop by myself (kids, ya know?) and almost no shopping options available to me unless I want to drive more than an hour, I ran right back to my old friend Stitch Fix.

For this Fix I asked for comfortable, stylish pants, cute tops, a pair of baggy jeans, a pair of flats in a bright Spring color or pattern, and pendant necklaces (my newest obsession). I received a pair of red slim fit pants, a pair of distressed boyfriend jeans, two tops, and a pre-layered pendant necklace. The stylist said she was unable to find a pair of flats that she thought I'd like but she would keep looking. (Sidenote: you can now choose to use the same stylist or have a new one style you for your next Fix). I decided to keep one of the tops and the necklace. The red pants were cute but too similar to a pair of red jeans I already own. The boyfriend jeans, while comfortable, were not what I am looking for. And the top I returned was a basic black dolman sleeved top and with Spring coming I'm craving brighter colors. This is what I kept...

 

One of my requirements is that pieces be versatile. I want a top that can go from day to night or pants that can be dressed up or down. This navy floral print top fit the bill perfectly. I don't have anything navy in my wardrobe and very few floral patterns. This is how I would style it.

It's perfect with a pair of lived-in jeans and cute sneakers.

For a work look I would style it with my slim fit red jeans and either suede booties or my Dansko clogs, and the pre-layered necklace. In the second photo you can see the cute tie detail on the sleeve.

For an evening look, I paired it with my favorite skinny jeans (another great Stitch Fix purchase!), big rose gold hoop earrings, and rich brown heels. 

This was a solid Fix and I'm looking forward to ordering another one when the warm Spring weather actually shows up. Stay tuned for my next Mom Genes Style Report.

**The Stitch Fix link included is a link to my referral. Use it to get $25 off your first Fix.

Snack Time!

Do you like to snack? Do you have kids? Then have I got the perfect snack for you. I call these Peanut Butter Jelly Spoons. Yes, I know, this is not some fancy, Pinterest-worthy recipe. This is a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly, a spoon, and an afternoon snack craving. Just take a little scoop of peanut butter, then a little scoop of jelly, pop it in your mouth and savor that taste combo that brings you back to childhood every time. Scoop, eat, repeat. (Germophobes, be gone! It's my house, I can double dip if I want to!!)

The only drawback to this snack is knowing when to stop. I can't help you with that because I have yet to figure out how to determine when you have reached that point. The bonus in all of this is that it doesn't require bread so it's low-carb!

Ok, that's all I got for ya. Why are you still sitting there?? Get up and get your spoon on!

Tantrum Hell: A Lesson in Parenting

My children have recently decided to gang up on me and my husband and go through a "phase" together. My toddler has entered the "Terrible Twos" and is showing the other 2 year olds how it's done. I'm pretty sure she heard some mom, somewhere, say "My 2 year old had the worst tantrum ever" and she thought, "Hold my sippy". She spends most of her days looking like a hot, snotty mess because she spends so much time crying and screaming and I can't keep up with the nose wiping.

My 5 year old has found her sassy pants and refuses to take them off. 60% of her conversations with us contains some kind of attitude, she's making talking back an art form, and when all else fails she reverts to her tantrums of younger days making nothing but unintelligible sounds, refusing to do anything she is told, and finally freaking the fuck out. 

My husband and I deal with these tantrums very differently. The toddler tantrums we handle somewhat the same because there isn't much to do except keep saying "No, you can't watch Baby Shark again" and riding out the hysterics. With the 5 year old's displays of attitude and epic meltdowns we handle with our own unique philosophies. My husband is a yeller. I always thought I would be the yeller because I have a short temper. But apparently, when it comes to kids pushing our buttons, he does too. This is not to say that I don't yell. Sometimes I yell to be heard over the screaming and crying of my children. Sometimes I yell out of pure exasperation but I'm not actually yelling at my kids. And, yes, sometimes I have straight up yelled at my kids. But my husband, my husband yells at the kids (well, mostly at the 5 year old). He yells in her face. He is quick to yell when I don't think it's necessary to be at the point of yelling yet. I try to remember that, even though she is a smart, precocious little girl, she is still only 5. I try to get down to her level and talk things through with her. I try to get her to open up to me (it doesn't always happen and, truth be told, when it doesn't I get hella frustrated and annoyed). 

As it turns out, we have very different parenting styles. When I was pregnant with our now 5 year old, we had discussions about how we would parent. How we would handle certain situations. We talked about being on the same page. Would we spank them? Use times outs? I thought we had hashed out our parenting philosophy pretty clearly but as we move forward in what we like to call this "full human experience" I'm realizing that maybe we didn't do such a great job at getting on the same page. Or maybe it's just not possible to parent exactly the same as your partner. I did a fair amount of reading about parenting. I still read articles posted by friends on social media, or things sent home from daycare, school, or the pediatrician. I go to the parenting meetings at the daycare center. I tag my husband in some of the articles, I try to deliver the overall message of the meetings and articles to him without sound preachy.

But there really is no way around it. We parent our own ways. We are united in our message and in our goals as parents but we are two different people and that manifests as two different parenting styles. My husband often refers to our tag team efforts as "Good Cop/Bad Cop". Somehow, in our B.C. life (that would be Before Children) I assumed I would play the role of Bad Cop. It's rather refreshing to see that I usually play Good Cop. When we look back, I hope we see that our unique parenting styles gave our girls some diversity to apply to their own lives and they can pick and choose how they want to be seen.

The Holiday Craptastic Extravaganza!

Let me start by saying, I'm truly not some party-pooping, holiday-hating scrooge but can we, as mamas, come together and say enough is enough! Mini notepads, plastic necklaces, ink stamps, tiny bottles of bubbles, and SO MANY PENCILS. Can we agree that this stuff is nothing more than garbage??

I had my first taste of this school holiday phenomenon when my 5 year old was in junior pre-K. She would come home with a birthday goody bag full of useless items that she swore she had to keep. I would go into stealth-mom mode and slowly throw everything into the trash, one piece at a time. When she would ask about it I would feign ignorance. "Oh, honey, I'm not sure what happened to the Elsa eraser. It's so small, the cats must have knocked it under something." (NOTE: ALWAYS BLAME THE CATS)

Fast forward to pre-K when the loot haul escalated from a single birthday goody bag to a Valentine's extravaganza of crap. 5 year old would go through every bit of junk, ooooh-ing and aaaah-ing, only to leave the bag of China-manufactured, petroleum-based chotchkies sitting on my kitchen island taking up space. And no matter how many times I moved said bag into her room it somehow mysteriously made its way back out to the living room and slowly spread throughout the house like a cold virus at a winter birthday party.

And speaking of birthday parties, enter Kindergarten. Now it's getting serious. Now 5 year old is getting invited to lots of birthday parties because no parent wants to offend anyone so they send out invitations to the entire class. And if there's a party, my 5 year old wants to be there. And each time she arrives home triumphantly carrying a plastic bag emblazoned with Sparkle & Shine or The Incredibles (or if it's that one really fancy party, a handled paper gift bag with a beautiful Alice and Wonderland motif. Cha-ching!) filled with more shit I don't need in my house.

And since we've just arrived in March I can only assume that I have several more bags of this stuff coming my way. This kindergarten class certainly seems to have some overachieving moms who make up goody bags for every little occasion. (St. Patrick's Day, I see you coming.) How long does this last? Does this morph into a new form of junk as they get older? And I still have the 2 year old who has already come home from daycare with a few little knick-knacks in her backpack. You better believe that stuff went straight into the trash before she even knew it existed.

I know, I know. I'm fighting a losing battle. It's all part of the joys of parenthood. I get it. But, come on. Can't we do better than this? Can't we be more creative? (And by "we" I mean the parents who insist on engaging in these holiday shenanigans) If I had a dollar for every piece of cheap, worthless, Oriental Trading Co. catalog party favor that entered this house I'd be typing on a much more expensive laptop.

I'm Rockin' my Mom Genes

This is a blog reborn. Once upon a time I was a childless thirty-something living in NYC with my husband spending my (copious amounts of) free time drinking beer at neighborhood bars, going to brunch on Sunday mornings, scrolling through social media while drinking a hot cup of coffee, and blogging.

Let's fast forward a few years...

I am now a forty-something mama of two girls, ages 5 and 2, living in a small beach town on the eastern end of Long Island. I spend my (limited) free time doing laundry, taking care of household business, picking up endless amounts of toys, and scrolling through social media on the downlow (lest my children see me and demand to watch Baby Shark for the five billionth time), and drinking lukewarm cups of coffee while trying to pack lunches and get children dressed.

But I still enjoy the idea of blogging. So I resurrected this old girl. Once a blog called Felisfemina where I mused about life in the city, music, and my cats it is now where I will rock my mom genes. I'll talk about mom life and all the joys that go with it (should I start with the tale of my toddler puking all over herself on the Grand Central Parkway on our way to the airport at 7am? Maybe not). I'll talk about health and wellness and self-care, an area that so many moms neglect but one that is critical for us if we want to be able to function on a daily basis and maybe even live a happy, fulfilling life. I'll talk about style and fashion because I love that shit and I don't get to have enough of it in my life (she says as she sits here typing in her Old Navy jeggings and worn out pullover). 

And I will, without a doubt, sometimes complain, often curse, and still talk about my cats.